Family Matters

Hello, brave soul reading today's blog. Let's carry on from yesterday. You know...where I talked about my angry ladybits who don't want to cooperate? Yup. That's the one. So, again, 3 years ago we decided to have a baby and it didn't work. We wanted to keep trying and trying and trying. Nothing was happening. We went through being newlyweds fighting over this. We went through mourning my mother's death (RIP mommsy) and fighting over this. Which let me say I have some lousy siblings.  And this ties into our baby matters: I always knew I would be the one footing the bill for when she passed away. I'm the responsible one who doesn't screw people out of money and tries to pay people back if (and only if) I have to borrow money. So, It's all Angel's money all day every day. Which I barely get by anyways. And, I have always taken them out to eat, bought school clothes, paid bills, helped with getting their driver's licences, gave money to, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc, etc. So, here I am asking siblings to help with OUR mother's funeral costs so that I don't get a divorce over money matters and baby issues. And, let's face it, IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO!  I don't mind paying for things and enjoy helping others but I am at a point where I'm just like, 'really asshole?' When I ask what do I get, "well, we have kids and you have cars and a house so you can pay for everything." I am feeling hot in my face right now just talking about this and need to calm down before I lose it. Breathe......ok, better ....breathe...still not ok. I can seriously go on and on with the horrific emails I have received simply asking for help on this. I have cut my sister out of my life as she was involved in just one horrible email claiming I lied about funeral costs, etc. WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE!? WHEN DO I GET A NORMAL FAMILY?! I just can't believe the nerve of some people! Anways, I am going to stop here but wanted to point out that not only can I not have a baby but get it put in my face that I can't have a baby (while idiots reproduce) and DESERVE to be in debt to pay for other people's shit. And, I'm not talking about funerals here. But, talking about being too giving and trying to help my own family but when I ask for $50 whole dollars for help I get so disrespected. Oh, and I'm a tax payer and pay for people's kids that I can't have that they shouldn't have. Going through all of this makes me hope and pray for people like above...I hope YOUR children don't leave you stranded on your deathbed someday. Good news is is that I am only $250 away from paying the funeral off and next the tombstone. Yay! I only had to get a part tiem job at Kohl's on top of school and being employed in a stressful career full time.  I wouldn't expect jerks to stop buying WII's and hot wings to help a girl like me. No because that would be awful... I feel like a loser that my own mother doesn't have a tombstone after being gone for a year and a half. It's awful. But, I'm trying and have to save up for a tombstone before I can get that so trying very hard to save up. It's hard when you have fertility bills to pay for. In all honesty, being with my mother with her final breaths and being able to put her to rest is one of the best things to happen to me. Not that she passed away but so that I could be there for her. My mother and I have an extensive history of not getting along due to many reasons ( some of you know the details) and to be able to come to peace and to know personally that she is at peace is so very good in my book. And, it's worth the struggles with jerks like I mentioned before because when I am a parent whethere it be through me or adoption I will teach them all that I have learned and experienced and hopefully this will help them to be a great person and to do meaningful things in their lives. Not to be selfish and hateful people.